This article comes out of some discussions I’ve had during and after our women’s self-defense class, concerning some of the reasons why women are reluctant to – or don’t – report sexual assaults and rapes. Certain reports and studies, such as victimization surveys, suggest that as little as 5-10% of all rapes are reported; and that reporting isn’t evenly spread e.g. rapes committed by strangers are much more likely to be reported to the police than those where the perpetrator/assailant is known to the victim i.e. the most common types of rape. In this article, I want to look at some of the reasons why such a heinous and destructive crime is so under-reported. This is by no means an exhaustive list of reasons, and there are of course many personal and individual reasons why those who are victimized, choose not to officially report their assaults.

As in any criminal case, the burden of proof is upon the prosecution i.e. the defendant doesn’t have to prove that they’re not guilty, the prosecution has to prove that they are; and beyond reasonable doubt. It should also be remembered that a verdict of “not guilty” doesn’t equate to innocence – it’s merely a statement that the prosecution couldn’t prove their case, that the defendant was/is legally guilty, etc. This is quite a tall order, and in many ways the odds are naturally stacked in favor of the defendant, as they don’t have to prove their case, they simply have to undermine and be able to refute that of the prosecution. In certain types of case there may be evidence that can be seen as the proverbial “smoking gun” e.g. if an offender is found with stolen property and/or caught on CCTV, it may be difficult – but not impossible – to explain beyond reasonable doubt how these things occurred. However, in many sexual assaults and rapes, such conclusive evidence rarely exists. Unfortunately, cases often come down to who has the most believable account, concerning the issue of consent e.g. a rapist who has had some form of prior relationship with the individual they sexually assaulted may make the argument that the sex was consensual, and the only reason that a case has been brought against them was due to feelings of regret and guilt, etc. Whilst it may be obvious in some cases that this is not true, it’s another thing to prove beyond reasonable doubt, and to a legal standard, that this might not be the case. I can’t imagine how devastating it would be to stand up in court and share the intimate and personal details of a sexual assault, knowing the truth, to have my assailant present an alternative, that to a jury, may seem more believable. Whilst a victim’s past sexual history can’t be brought up, or presented as evidence, there are many ways a defense attorney can allude to these things, which may be highly embarrassing – even when there is nothing to be ashamed of – when presented in a public setting. The thought of having to endure such a process, with the possibility that a perpetrator is given a not guilty verdict, may be too traumatic for some to go through, and this is completely understandable.

Many people who have been victimized by rapists and sexual assailants see themselves as being to blame, guilty or somehow complicit in their assaults. These thoughts and feelings may become more concrete when questions such as, “what were you wearing?” are asked – whether by friends or law-enforcement – as if rape is the product of men who simply cannot resist their sexual urges when presented with a “provocatively” dressed women. When it is understood that most women are raped in their homes or somebody else’s, it is more likely that they are wearing everyday clothing such as jeans, sweatpants and similar than dressed like a movie star, etc., it can be seen that clothing choices aren’t the reason why women are raped. However, many women who have been sexually assaulted reported feeling that something they said or did was responsible for their assault – especially when their assailant was somebody they knew e.g. were they perhaps too flirtatious with their partner’s best friend in the past, and so gave him the wrong idea, and that is why he raped them, etc. Assuming guilt is also one way that people exert control over their experiences, and so such thoughts are quite natural (although incorrect). Trauma occurs when we are subjected to high-stress experiences, which we are unable to control. Our first response is to feel ashamed i.e. that we were unable to stop the rape/sexual assault from happening, etc., however this acknowledgment of being unable to control the events that happen to us is psychologically difficult for us to accept, and so we look for things we did that may have been responsible for our attack, in order for us to have had a degree of control over our experiences; we trade shame for guilt. These things may also contribute to a reluctance in reporting rapes and sexual assaults.  

Many individuals who have been raped/sexually assaulted have a fear that they won’t be believed; and unfortunately, this is well founded – especially in campus/university rapes. If you are part of a social circle in college, where your group includes a popular high-stock figure such as the quarterback of the University football team, and a common friend that had a crush on him claims that he raped her, are you going to by default believe her, or are you going to question her motives e.g. is she trying to draw attention to herself, force a situation to make it look like he WAS interested in her, etc.? If you genuinely like the quarterback, are you going to want to believe her, as such an allegation, if not true, is going to be potentially devastating for both his university and playing career. You may also have a fear that you may be judged harshly for being his friend and hanging out with his friends if this is the case – and if you’re female and had a romantic interest in the quarterback, might you feel somewhat jealous that you weren’t the target of his interests (even if they don’t involve your consent). When somebody we know and respect is accused of a crime – however heinous – we may have a lot of personal interests in not believing the allegations e.g. we may convince ourselves that we’re a good judge of character and we’d never be friends with someone who would commit such a crime, and therefore the victim must be lying, etc. The rapist themselves may remind the victim of this as they are leaving them, stating that if they tell anyone they’ll say it was consensual and this was something they always wanted e.g. who wouldn’t want to have sex with the good-looking, fit, athletic, and popular member of the football team? Both men and women are guilty of not believing those who have been raped and sexually assaulted due to selfish/personal reasons, and those who have been victimized fear and know this.

I have touched on a few of the complex emotional and psychological reasons as to why so many rapes and sexual assaults aren’t reported. I commend and have the utmost respect for those who do report such crimes to law-enforcement as this is a massive undertaking with so many different costs. I also fully understand and respect those who choose not to as the odds of achieving justice are not stacked in their favor. Hopefully by understanding some of the reasons why reporting such assaults is so difficult, we can be more supportive of those who have been subjected to these assaults, rather than simply question or dismiss their accounts and experiences.