At our school, we don’t simply teach techniques, we teach solutions to situations. This means explaining the dynamics of violent interactions, the methods and motivations behind assaults, as well as explaining how situations develop and change based on a Target’s behaviors and actions etc. This means talking about personal safety/self-protection; how to predict, prevent, identify and avoid violence, along with what, and what not to do, when dealing with aggressive and violent individuals. The start of the year has been a very busy one, and I’ve found myself doing a lot of personal safety “myth busting” for want of a better term. This blog article looks at five pieces of advice or rules that people have been lead to believe will keep them safe, that either don’t deliver on that, or in fact put them in more danger.

1 – “Don’t Run Wearing Earbuds or Headphones.” When I talk about situational awareness, people will often cite this “rule” as an example of something people do, which prevents them from being situationally aware. The problem with this piece of advice is that it implies that by not wearing earbuds/headphones you will automatically be able to identify potential dangers and harmful intent in your environment, which simply isn’t the case. If you don’t know what danger looks like, you won’t be able to identify it, whether you are wearing headphones or not. This is the major problem with many personal safety rules, that they tell you what not to do, rather than what you should be doing, and imply that by not doing something you will automatically be safer. I have seen people running without headphones who are completely oblivious to their environment and what’s happening in it; these individuals have no more awareness, than their counterparts who are running with earbuds in. Not doing something, doesn’t by default make you safe; teaching people what are, and how to identify potential threats along with reducing personal vulnerabilities when running, does.

2 – “Never Walk Alone at Night, Always Walk with A Friend or in A Group.” This is a better piece of advice than the rule about not wearing earbuds when running, as it at least prescribes you an action/something to do. It is also a good general piece of advice, however there are situations where being with someone else doesn’t necessarily make you safer, and blindly trusting this rule/piece of advice will lull you into a false sense of security. If you are a woman walking alone late at night, you will be a potential target for any sexual predators who are operating in the area. A rapist will generally be looking for a single victim, and will find it easier to target someone who is on their own. On the other hand, a pair of armed muggers, will get potentially double their pay out if they target two people, rather than one. Walking with a friend may protect you from one type of predator whilst at the same time attracting another. You still need to be aware of what is going on in your environment whether you are on your own, in a pair, or are part of a group; also, don’t rely on others in your group to identify danger on your behalf.

3 – “If Confronted by A Mugger, Throw Your Wallet Away from You.” This is an extremely dangerous piece of advice- at first glance it may seem like a good way of getting a mugger away from you- but it isn’t realistic when we look at the locations and situations where muggings take place, and the motivations of the mugger. Firstly, to be able to throw your wallet away from you, assumes that muggings take place in deserted areas where there is the space to throw a wallet, without other people either walking over it or witnessing what you are doing. If you are mugged in a well-trafficked transit station or parking lot, neither one of these conditions apply. Muggers generally don’t select deserted locations, as there are few, if any, people to rob, and prefer to choose locations which see a good supply of potential victims. Imagine you are on an escalator, and somebody walks up, moves behind you, puts a knife at your back and demands your wallet (it is unlikely that anyone near you will either see or hear what is going on). Where are you going to throw it? This piece of advice is not borne out of reality but from someone who is well intentioned and trying to find a logical solution to a problem/situation they don’t understand. Another good reason not to throw your wallet away from you when a mugger asks for it, is that you have failed to comply with their demand. Although their primary motive is to acquire your wallet, all violent incidents involve secondary motives which include power, anger and control. Your action of throwing the wallet is likely to bring these secondary motives to the fore and see you either stabbed or shot. You don’t need to throw your wallet to get a mugger to move away from you, in 99% of cases, handing it to them will achieve this.

4 – “If You Need Assistance Don’t Shout “Help”, Yell “Fire” Instead” – This piece of advice is outdated by about 500 years, and creates a dangerous way of thinking about bystander intervention. The thought behind this piece of advice is that people are more likely to respond to a fire than a person’s cry for help. The idea for shouting fire rather than help when attacked, was formulated in 16th century London. London at the time consisted of wooden houses and dwellings that were located very close together. The threat and danger from fire was a constant one, so if somebody yelled fire, everybody who heard it would come on to the streets to try and put it out as quickly as possible before it spread to their house i.e. they had a vested interest in responding to the person shouting, therefore if a person being attacked shouted fire they were likely to get a greater response than if they made a cry for help. This isn’t the case in modern society, where fire is not the threat/danger it once was, so there is little reason to shout “fire”, rather than “help”. The real danger of this piece of advice is that it suggests should you cry either “help” or “fire”, people will come to your assistance; unfortunately, this has been proven time and time again not to happen, with bystanders and third parties being extremely reluctant to come to others’ aid and assistance. If your strategy for surviving a violent altercation is to rely on others to intervene on your behalf, you may want to think about revising it.

5 – “If You Feel Scared and Need a Weapon, Put Your Keys Between Your Fingers to Form an Improvised ‘Knuckle Duster’” – This is an old chestnut, that I heard as a kid, and held with me into my teens and twenties, before I properly understood how improvised weapons actually work. The good part about this piece of advice, is that if you are looking to use your keys as a weapon, you have accepted that you are in a potentially dangerous situation; many people when faced with a potential threat or danger get caught in a state of denial, and argue themselves out of doing anything on the basis that they are either over-reacting, or being stupid. If you find yourself going for your keys, you have at least recognized the potential for being the target of a violent assault. My problem is not using your keys as a weapon, but how to use them. In Krav Maga, we use a categorization system, to identify improvised weapons, and that categorization system informs us of how they should be used. The system teaches us to look for objects that resemble actual weapons e.g. objects that look like a stick, objects that look like a shield, objects that look like a knife, etc. When you look at a key, more than anything, it resembles a knife; it’s sharp and it can cut. This means your keys are best used like a knife e.g. hold one between your thumb and forefinger and use it to cut with, etc. The reason not to use them as a Knuckle Duster as they don’t resemble any impact weapon – a knuckle duster is used to deliver concussive force, where a knife is designed to cut and slash.

There are a lot of people with good intentions and good ideas offering advice on personal safety and self-defense, who unfortunately lack the qualifications and/or experience to give sound advice. In lieu of an understanding of what real life violence looks like, they try and apply logic to situations they don’t really understand, and these rules and pieces of advice unfortunately get repeated and repeated until they are accepted as expert opinion – even though no expert ever formulated them. If you want to truly be safe, you need to educate yourself as to what violent situations actually look like, and formulate your responses based on this understanding.