On Friday I was sent a link to a video that showed students engaged in a drill that involved them making defenses against an attacker with a knife; the attacker and the person defending the knife attacks, were in a circle, and every now and again one of the students in the circle would push the attacker towards the person defending – the attacker was making realistic and frenzied attacks, stabbing and shanking low, and then making high cuts and stabs etc. There was nothing wrong with the drill itself, my issue and concern was that the attacker was a boy who looked to be around the same age, perhaps a little older, as my own son who is 9. The issue of children training with adults in reality based self-defense classes, is becoming more and more prevalent with martial arts school owners who don’t understand what reality based self-defense is, and in mixing these two populations together such schools are doing a huge (and potentially dangerous) disservice to both groups.

My first issue with mixing adults and children together is surprisingly not one of safety, but of reality. My reality and the potential dangers and the violence that I am likely to face is very different to a 9 year olds, which is very different to a 15 year olds etc. If I am training individuals of all ages in reality based self-defense I have to train them to deal with their reality, and the situations they are likely to face. If I am teaching all ages together I’m failing in this, and giving each group an unrealistic expectation of what they are likely to experience. This doesn’t even fit with the idea of basic and advanced techniques, it is down to reality e.g. training to deal with multiple assailants is a much harder, and possibly more “advanced” form of training than dealing with individual attackers, however we introduce this form of training to kids and teenagers at a very early stage, as a lot of the aggressive and violent situations they may find themselves in will involve somebody and a group of their friends etc. Different age groups, different realities.

This is something that many parents don’t understand. I once had a mother who brought her 14 year old son to try an adult class. The kid was over 6ft and weighed well over 200 lbs. He was confused when I wouldn’t let him join the adult class, citing that in the Tae Kwon Do classes he took, the instructor had him train in the adult class because of his size. In a traditional martial arts class, there is logic and sense to this, however it doesn’t cross over to a reality based self-defense class, where the kid would have been introduced to adult realities that weren’t appropriate to him.

There are certain techniques and types of training, which shouldn’t be taught to children – I question the wisdom of having a child make frenzied knife attacks against either adults or other children, whilst a group encourages him/her. The message being sent to the child is an unclear one. Having lived and worked in the UK where knife carrying, and attacks, are prevalent amongst teenagers and sometimes younger, I see a great danger in encouraging, albeit in a training environment, a child to attack somebody else with a knife. When you talk to the kids in the UK about knives, and the dangers of carrying one, they are woefully ignorant of the actual effects and damage that a knife can cause, and don’t have the maturity to understand that when somebody backs away from them they should do the same; “power” in young hands is rarely reigned in.

It isn’t just weapons techniques and drills that can be dangerous to teach to children, escapes from strangulations and chokes can be as well. Kids like to show off what they know to other kids, whatever they tell their parents and teachers. If a child wants to show off their ability to escape a strangulation or choke to a group of friends, they have to have somebody in that group choke or strangle them. It may be that the biggest and strongest kid in the group wants to “test” their ability, and so makes sure that they sink the choke in deep, and keep holding until the struggling stops. None of the children involved really understands the danger of chokes and strangulations, and because of this one is unconscious. This is the same with teaching kids arm and wrist locks; if they decide to show these to friends they may end up hurting and injuring them – not because they are malicious but because they lack control (this is especially true if they have learnt these techniques with adults, and have got used to applying them with the force needed to control someone who is bigger and stronger).

Putting a child in an adult class is a disservice to the adults in the class. As soon as a child is introduced into an adult group, that group has to change its dynamics and the way it behaves; language has to change, topics of conversation have to change etc. The group’s entire behavior has to change. The way I interact with other adults when my son is present is different to the way I act when he is not. As an adult practitioner I want to train with other adults. In certain situations it may be appropriate for a child to learn certain things that wouldn’t be taught to a child in public classes, and this is the time for private lessons, rather than bringing down the training experience of other adults.

Kids are kids, let’s keep is that way. Let’s not introduce them to adult realities. The violence that children experience, is different to adults, and it is impossible to teach reality based self-defense to both at the same time – sure you can teach the same techniques, but this is only a small part of reality based self-defense. Despite all of this, I know instructors will keep mixing adults and children together. It may be because that model works in their traditional or sport martial arts classes, or simply because they don’t want to put on separate programs due to time or financial constraints. They may simply have small classes that they want to pack. The business reasons are endless, the self-defense ones aren’t.