Everybody has a story that brings them to the mats. It may be a story that is based on real events, or one that is founded on a set of fears and insecurities, alternatively it may be one that is based on an idea of self-image that the person wants to realize and achieve achieve e.g. who doesn’t want to see themselves as the person who is able to defeat a group of attackers who are armed to the teeth, and then be applauded by passers-by? Whatever the story a person has that brings them to a martial arts school it can be something that helps to push them forward or which hinders their advancement – sometimes it is necessary to honestly re-visit the story in order to write the next chapter in a positive manner.

This is what the traditional martial arts talk about as “humility”, which in practical terms is really about being honest with yourself and acknowledging who you are as an individual; there is nothing wrong with being scared of violence – it’s a healthy and sensible attitude to have. Ego might tell you otherwise however trying to be somebody you’re not when dealing with issues of survival is an extremely dangerous route to take. The You that you might imagine you should be may believe that you should confront any person(s) that tries to step above you in the pecking order /disrespects you but the you, who you actually are, knows that the potential consequences of doing so are often greater than you’re willing or able to bear e.g. what if a knife gets pulled, what if you have legal charges brought against you, what if the way you see yourself gets destroyed? The last one is often the one that wins it for most people: what if your self-image is ripped to shreds – few people will ever risk their self-identity and put it on the line. Those who are able to do so are the genuine tough guys.

This is why I have the utmost respect for anyone who steps out on to the mats for the first time. It takes balls. For some people this is the greatest moment in their martial arts career. For some it represents the moment they conquered and overcame a crippling fear, for others it was a moment that was soon forgotten and discarded as they got caught up in training for the purpose of training, making sure that their self-image was projected across the mats; that in drills they were always one better than their training partner, that they gave better than they got, that there was always an excuse when they failed to perform etc. The person they realized they were when they first stepped out on to the mats is long forgotten.

I never forget my first Judo Class (32 years ago) – because it let me know exactly who I am i.e. a scared, nervous anxious kid who knew that I had to do something about being bullied and behaving like a victim. In the years since I’ve not changed that opinion of myself, instead I just know what I have to do about it. I know what fear is and how to manage it, and I know the necessary and appropriate solutions to violent situations and when to apply them. I still feel the same fear and anxiety as I did all those years ago but now I know how to handle and deal with it and what reality requires of me. I have always felt fear and trepidation in the situations I have had to deal with, except on a few occasions when my fear system overrode this for me and put me on autopilot, however I have always been able to function and apply what I know (as well as being extremely lucky at times).

To truly progress your ego has to be put aside, you must be honest about who you are and the story which brought you to training. Too many people expect that enough time on the mats will make the magic happen for them and they will change who they are. In fact it should be the opposite: you should acknowledge who you are in reality and then work to resolve and deal with this in training.

The day I walk in, strutting my stuff, with my hoodie pulled up and fist bumping everyone you’ll know I’ve given up on this and resorted to my internal self-image; the person who I think I should be, not the person who I am.

In ten days we have “Animal Day”, leave your image at the door and reconnect with who you are. Be honest and train hard to address that which needs to be addressed.