Whenever there is an extreme and violent incident, which the media picks upon and runs with, such as the abduction and murder of Amy Lord, members of the public who haven’t considered issues of personal safety before start to wonder what they can do to make themselves safe and avoid becoming the victim of the same or a similar crime - it is worth noting that there are many incidents of extreme violence, which aren’t reported on, and people aren’t made aware of. It is natural to focus on the specifics of a particular case and look to avoid becoming the victim of that same crime however from a personal safety issue this is not the best approach to take.

One of the major dangers in looking at and targeting in on, the specifics of a particular crime, is that as new facts and details about the case emerge people can start to see the incident as less relevant to themselves as they might have initially done. If it was first reported that a person was abducted from the street, and then later discovered that they were abducted from their home, different questions start to be asked of how the crime/assault/abduction occurred e.g. how did the assailant get into their house/home, was the attacker somebody they knew, somebody who lived in the house with them etc. People can often then start to lose sympathy for the victim and start to make certain judgments about them, such as that they were wrong, or even to blame, for letting their attacker into their home, and that this is something that they would never do. This is when the incident starts to lose relevance for them – when it was an abduction from the street they could see themselves as being the target of such a crime, however if it is an abduction from the home they can no longer imagine or see themselves as being the target/victim of such a crime. As a result their guard drops and their level of personal safety is reduced – which is especially dangerous if the person/people they are trying to protect themselves against is still at large.

Everyone likes to believe that they are good judges of character and can identify danger and dangerous individuals. The truth is that we are often dealing with skilled social predators who know how to disarm us and get us to break the rules, we know we should keep and follow. If you ever have the feeling that you are making an exception for somebody, or compromising a “rule” that you use to keep you safe, then you should think again and consider why you are making this exception and compromise. Telling yourself that “it will be all right” is a form of denial.

Another reason why it is dangerous to focus on the specifics of a particular incident is that a criminal’s modus operandi can change, especially if the incident reported on marks the beginning of a person’s violent crime spree. Criminals educate themselves and learn from their mistakes. If they see certain facts, or pieces of evidence reported on, that could expose and identify them, they will try and eliminate these from future crimes. If your focus is to just look at the specifics of one incident, and try and change your lifestyle, behaviors and actions in response to them, you may find that the criminal changes certain elements and behaves differently in future crimes/assaults; becoming more sophisticated and subtle in the way they operate. What you are looking for to identify the criminal etc. is no longer present.   

It should also be understood that abductions and murders are rare, when compared to muggings, sexual assaults and other violent crimes; it is the fact that such horrific crimes are uncommon, which causes us to take notice of them. Your goal should not just to be to avoid the extremes of violence but violence in all its forms. If you try and adopt general safety habits that protect you from all types of violence, you will be protecting yourself from abductions and the risk of murder as well. Once the perpetrator of this terrible crime/murder is caught and brought to justice, many people will sigh with relief and go about their daily life as before with little or no regard for their personal safety. If the abduction and murder of Amy Lord has caused you to consider your own safety, do something positive and life changing about it. Look to address issues of safety throughout your entire life and don’t simply focus on one particular threat or danger.

If you are a woman in Boston or Massachusetts who is concerned about your own safety and wants to empower yourself, our school runs a free women’s self-defense and personal safety program every Saturday at 10:00 AM. We’ve been doing this for three years now, and have trained hundreds of women in self-defense and personal safety. You can read more about our program by going to www.womensselfdefenseboston.com